If this is all Greek to you, well that's good

Statistics is every language I don't speak.

It may not be clear

I do not remember stats being this unclear. Understandably, I am learning it at an advanced level. There is a consistent cycle of this even in life. I don't understand something, I learn what it is, I see clearer, I am faced with it again, and I don't see clearly. How can I be faced with the same thing and still not understand it exactly?

Now I Know

I was once so low. I didn't know what I was doing or why I was faced with this. Now I know. Although I might never understand the moments I have been through exactly, now I know that God is real. It is because of where I was, that I know.

I know he is making things reoccur at different points in my life. Let's face the facts, that Professor Singletary taught me SPSS, but who am I now, I am prepared for all the confusion of being a scientist. The new terminology and languages that exist in my field and program. Whether it's saying parsimonious, dyadic, oblique or laughing about describing a T-test to a grandmother, I am learning Greek.

This week was short. Being welcomed back to my first summer quarter ever, I am very curious about what it will bring. With new research assignments, classes, jobs, and external studies, I just might be speaking three languages.

What language are you speaking? Have you learned any new languages? If you are catching what I am throwing down, then you know I don't mean literally. Are there new life habits, adulting language, cooking skills, job skills, bigger words, better communication, and whatnot that you are learning? Have you ever gone to a car shop and called your dad immediately? Side eyeing the phone, "Dad what does that mean"?.

I saw this video on Instagram that said " He's not your type, he's your pattern". Maybe Duolingo isn't for you, but why is speaking and understanding the same thing for years what is for you? I have been consistently faced with the question "What do you want?". Honestly, I want to master all that my program has to offer and go into the job field standing tall. That might just mean that I have to search words that I don't understand during class and ask questions that might be dumb but dammit I am learning, being disciplined, and consistent, balancing healthy habits for myself, and celebrating every small milestone.

It is rare for everything in life to be clear to us, yet, by and by it is clear that this is God. One day, things will connect and make sense, and then another day it won't.

Peter walked quietly and asking no questions.

I was once heartbroken, confused, lost, disappointed, and drained. Thank you, God, for allowing me to get through that at to this. Much like statistics, this program will never be clear. I don't think I want it to be. In the midst of it all, may we know.

XoXo, speaking Greek, bilingual shawty, I am confusion, and only because of the big man... 35th week PhD student