Two words, one class…

Yes, I made it through my first quarter of my PhD program. I would've put an exclamation mark but it has been stressed that this winter quarter is the hardest quarter in the program. Why is that? Two words, one class , and a whole bunch of cuss words !@$&*#$*^

Organizational Psychology

Now you know the class is hard when you have to re-read the syllabus multiple times. The hard part about this class is the demand. We are asked to read 10 articles a week. Have questions for each article ( two classes a week), perform a miny dissertation, class activities, and turn in homework assignments at the end of the class day. PhD is being felt. Damn near need to capatilize the H ... PHD.

Calm Down

If you know me I am not a 'go with the flow' person. What's that zombie movie where the scene shows a herd of zombies running around the sick kid? Well I think of myself as that. Different ofcourse, difficult... maybeee.

Just like this class , there has been things in my life that has made me feel all types of emotions. Sometimes too much...

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self discipline - 2 Timothy 1:7

Power

Oof power. I imagine power has me holding some energy in my hands lol. A possesion. Something that I want to defend and keep. I doubt real power needs to be defended tho. Rather it be acceptance and awareness of ones controls and lack of it at the same time. I have no control over this rigourous quarter but I have power in how I show up. I have power in my acceptance to attack this quarter and awareness to deactivate my ig because I can distract myself enough already. I have power that I don't need to control everything to still be.

Self Discipline

Naturally stubborn, I consider myself pretttty dang disciplined. But have ya ever prayed for something but haven't been that something yourself. That's the real tea. We all want the house, car, man, family, job, shoot me to pass this quarter, publications, money , and allll that. Do those things want you tho? Don't get me wrong I am a bad B%$*@ but I have to admit that I don't always act in way to attract those things.

See attraction is both ways. I want to pass organizational psychology but does organizational psychology want to pass me? Who am I to this class and/or quarter? I think taking a step back and realizing that we are not just praying for something but praying that we are that something too. Love for example. We all fantisize over it. Yall know I do. I know how I want to be proposed to, have a cute princess and the frog vibe wedding and the list goes on. Big Louisiana vibes I know ( main character I told you). Yet, I pray more now that I am love to someone else.

All in all this week has taught me to be. Power in being everything I pray for so what I pray for prays for me too. Op I just did that. If you didn't feel that well feel it this time...

Power in being everything I pray for so what I pray for prays for me too.

Xoxo- 12th week PhD student whose gonna attack this two words, one class and whole bunch of cuss words #$%^& of a quarter, and a calm woman ( because whose prayin for a hectic girl, whoever is ... iont want him lol, smells toxic)